How to Enjoy the Deuce Diaries

Like a bad CSI episode, this blog will keep you guessing until the last minute. I will bring to you the past, present, and future of my bathroom emergencies. I encourage you to post your own stories, express your sympathies, or make suggestions to make my life better under the comments after any blog that moves you. If you are looking for the sheer entertainment of the truthful near-deuce (in pants) encounters, then read the "Deuce-aster stories." If you are looking to play the guess what's triggering the irritable bowel syndrome home game, read the "Daily Diet and Deuce Effects" posts which are labeled by date. In these posts, I will describe what I ate and what level of stress or nervousness I was dealing with. But like searching through a big dump after eating a few Chipotle burritos, you will find some kernels of goodness in these posts. This is because my life is a constant adventure. My stomach is like Mount Vesuvius, ready to explode at any moment and bring hell upon any day. Therefore, you just might find another entertaining story about the runs. And you may be Sherlock Holmes and find the way to stop this menace!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

I'm back 9-28-08

My fellow diahreaders,

I apologize for my long absence from the deuce blogging world. The day after my last blog entry, I had a week long vacation. Without access to the internet, the deuce diaries suffered. When I returned, I realized that there is more to life than taking dumps and writing about it. So I moved on. Life was happy, my bowels were cleansed effortlessly, and no dump grabbed my attention enough to pull me back to the keyboard to write about it. But something has changed. I have been eating the yogurt everyday since the last entry, but I can almost not stand it anymore. No matter how much I drink, how much I eat, whatever I eat, I have to sit down and eat the same tasting yogurt day in and day out. Now I am starting to realize why people choose align. Also, it seems that the demons in my colon were sizing up the enemy before their recent and successful attack. The revolution in my intestines has not caused any urgent bowel movements. But I have had an aching stomach on numerous occasions, blood has returned to my stool, and nothing is coming easy. If I were George W., I would advocate a troop surge. But i don't want to eat even one yogurt a day let alone multiple yogurts. So with a sore ass, blood in my crap, and an achy stomach, I am at a crossroads. And at this cross-roads, I beg for your forgiveness and hope that you can help me through these dark times.

so without further ado, I the deuce diaries.