How to Enjoy the Deuce Diaries

Like a bad CSI episode, this blog will keep you guessing until the last minute. I will bring to you the past, present, and future of my bathroom emergencies. I encourage you to post your own stories, express your sympathies, or make suggestions to make my life better under the comments after any blog that moves you. If you are looking for the sheer entertainment of the truthful near-deuce (in pants) encounters, then read the "Deuce-aster stories." If you are looking to play the guess what's triggering the irritable bowel syndrome home game, read the "Daily Diet and Deuce Effects" posts which are labeled by date. In these posts, I will describe what I ate and what level of stress or nervousness I was dealing with. But like searching through a big dump after eating a few Chipotle burritos, you will find some kernels of goodness in these posts. This is because my life is a constant adventure. My stomach is like Mount Vesuvius, ready to explode at any moment and bring hell upon any day. Therefore, you just might find another entertaining story about the runs. And you may be Sherlock Holmes and find the way to stop this menace!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

11-13-08

Today was a whole TWO pounds released from my innards. I took three weigh-ins and it is even possible that it was a 2.2 pounder (two out of the three said 2.2 pounds, but I refuse to certify results of over two pounds). Unbelievable! And it didn't even pierce the waterline into the free air. I thought the whole pound yesterday was impressive. No wonder I was farting so much last night. I was carrying two pounds of rotting meat and vegetables in my intestines. It was a smooth, easy, and rather wet two pounds. I have gotten back into the habit of eating the Activia Yogurt at night and whole wheat cereal in the morning. It seems to be quite a combo. Tucked in between breakfast and nightly yogurt, I had a vegetarian burrito, rice with black beans and cheese, peanut butter on whole wheat bread, and a bunch of costco samples. Oh and two ice cream sandwiches. No deucasters.
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