So, I have to admit, I am an idiot. I threw out one milk, but I had two jugs. The second one also has a September expiration date. I believed that this one also smelled spoiled, but I was convinced otherwise by someone else who smelled it. So I had a bowl of barbara's oats cereal with the questionable milk. Bad idea.
breakfast: two bowls of barbara's oats with questionable lactose free milk.
Lunch: Leftover stirfried vegetables
Dinner: Chicken; ginger flavored cooked carrots; some sort of salad with avacodo, corn, black beans, and jacima; vanilla ice cream with blueberries; and a cooked, spiced nectarine.
After dinner: Dannon Activia Yogurt
Stress: I drove the car today.
Dietary supplements: None
Exercise: 10 minutes aerobic and sit-ups
The deuce story: oh boy. The day started off with a bang. I had breakfast and then dispensed a quite comfortable, but bowl filling deuce. I was lighter on my feet and I though the day was going to be great. Then at 3:50pm, I felt some rumbles in my stomach. I let off some paint-peeling farts. Then I decided I should try going to the bathroom. When I went to the bathroom at 4:15, I sat down with ass-raping diarrhea. I couldn't get off the toilet for 15 minutes. Squirt, pause, squirt, cramps, pause, squirt. Argh! It was never ending. Then an hour later, I also fired off a few wet shots. Completing the deuce, I then had to drive in traffic. This is a known trigger! Miraculously, I survived a few uncomfortable moments in the car without incident. The three pills of pepto bismol had to help. After learning that I crap out lunch carrots the morning after, I think the diarrhea was either caused by the morning's bowl of cereal with potentially spoiled milk, or the day before's mushroom tetrazini made with spoiled milk. Any guesses?
How to Enjoy the Deuce Diaries
Like a bad CSI episode, this blog will keep you guessing until the last minute. I will bring to you the past, present, and future of my bathroom emergencies. I encourage you to post your own stories, express your sympathies, or make suggestions to make my life better under the comments after any blog that moves you. If you are looking for the sheer entertainment of the truthful near-deuce (in pants) encounters, then read the "Deuce-aster stories." If you are looking to play the guess what's triggering the irritable bowel syndrome home game, read the "Daily Diet and Deuce Effects" posts which are labeled by date. In these posts, I will describe what I ate and what level of stress or nervousness I was dealing with. But like searching through a big dump after eating a few Chipotle burritos, you will find some kernels of goodness in these posts. This is because my life is a constant adventure. My stomach is like Mount Vesuvius, ready to explode at any moment and bring hell upon any day. Therefore, you just might find another entertaining story about the runs. And you may be Sherlock Holmes and find the way to stop this menace!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment