Today is the triple 8s. I bet a lot of people are getting married. And the Beijing Olympics are about to get underway. I care a lot less about the Olympics since they switched to an every two year format (alternating between Winter and Summer). When it was every four years, it was something special. I think NBC's lame coverage of the games also weakens the excitement for me. CBS always did a better job. But you are reading this blog to find out my opinion on sports, are you? You are here to read about the deuce.
Breakfast: two bowls of cheerios with lactose free milk
Lunch: Butter chicken from an Indian restaurant with basmati rice and naan (indian flatbread). It was delicious. And it will put my theory to the test.
Mid-day snack: chocolate granola bar
Dinner: I cooked a nasty meal. It was supposed to be cheesy mushroom pasta. But it was just gross. Fat-free cream cheese, fat free sour cream, fat free lactose free milk, one kraft american single, hot sauce and BBQ sauce. The fat-free cream cheese ruined it. Didn't taste good and it was too thick of a consistency. Perhaps more milk, more cheese or less fat free cream cheese next time.
After dinner: parmesan goldfish crackers.
Dannon Activia experiment continues. I am starting to lose track. I'll have to go back through the diaries at some point to give an updated count.
Exercise: None
Dietary Supplements: salmon pills, multi-vitamin, vitamin C and Vitamin E.
The duece story: I waited longer to start my day to make sure I got the deuce out. It was a normal deuce if not a bit on the small side. After the Indian food, I remembered that it makes me crap. That got my stomach jumping a touch. I don't know if it was the indian food or my nerves about the indian food that got it going. But no deuce followed. We'll see how it burns tomorrow.
How to Enjoy the Deuce Diaries
Like a bad CSI episode, this blog will keep you guessing until the last minute. I will bring to you the past, present, and future of my bathroom emergencies. I encourage you to post your own stories, express your sympathies, or make suggestions to make my life better under the comments after any blog that moves you. If you are looking for the sheer entertainment of the truthful near-deuce (in pants) encounters, then read the "Deuce-aster stories." If you are looking to play the guess what's triggering the irritable bowel syndrome home game, read the "Daily Diet and Deuce Effects" posts which are labeled by date. In these posts, I will describe what I ate and what level of stress or nervousness I was dealing with. But like searching through a big dump after eating a few Chipotle burritos, you will find some kernels of goodness in these posts. This is because my life is a constant adventure. My stomach is like Mount Vesuvius, ready to explode at any moment and bring hell upon any day. Therefore, you just might find another entertaining story about the runs. And you may be Sherlock Holmes and find the way to stop this menace!
Friday, August 8, 2008
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