Tropic Thunder is the theme of the week. I had more bellows from below today. I am on a personal hot streak. I would be the Michael Phelps in the Olympic sport of non-diarrheal deucing. Today was another 3-bagger. Amazing! That's 10 in three days, and I doubt I am finished. It started off normal enough. The usual cereal for breakfast, followed by a firm if not hard deuce. Then came more cake, of course. I had the leftover taco salad for lunch. Then I went to an acquaintance's house for dinner and the dump machine fired up again. This was not an ideal deuce situation because there is no sound proofing between rooms and the dinner table was a mere inches from the bathroom. That's city living for you. I had a big hard log that needed to come out just before dinner, and a few nuggets that begged for freedom after dinner.
Dinner was corn, steak, and salad. Finished off with raspberry sorbet and brown sugar homemade ice cream. And obviously, I need to get back into the peanut butter paradise cake. I am addicted. I would think I would gain five pounds from all this food gluttony, but I appear to be crapping it all out.
Stress: I drove the car today just before I deuced at the acquaintance's house.
Dietary supplements: the usual, minus the methane stuff.
Did I mention that I love this cake? God bless cold stone creamery.
How to Enjoy the Deuce Diaries
Like a bad CSI episode, this blog will keep you guessing until the last minute. I will bring to you the past, present, and future of my bathroom emergencies. I encourage you to post your own stories, express your sympathies, or make suggestions to make my life better under the comments after any blog that moves you. If you are looking for the sheer entertainment of the truthful near-deuce (in pants) encounters, then read the "Deuce-aster stories." If you are looking to play the guess what's triggering the irritable bowel syndrome home game, read the "Daily Diet and Deuce Effects" posts which are labeled by date. In these posts, I will describe what I ate and what level of stress or nervousness I was dealing with. But like searching through a big dump after eating a few Chipotle burritos, you will find some kernels of goodness in these posts. This is because my life is a constant adventure. My stomach is like Mount Vesuvius, ready to explode at any moment and bring hell upon any day. Therefore, you just might find another entertaining story about the runs. And you may be Sherlock Holmes and find the way to stop this menace!
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2 comments:
I'm dropping a deuce while I read your blog on my Iphone. Now THAT is irony.
Deuces Wild Rocks!
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