How to Enjoy the Deuce Diaries

Like a bad CSI episode, this blog will keep you guessing until the last minute. I will bring to you the past, present, and future of my bathroom emergencies. I encourage you to post your own stories, express your sympathies, or make suggestions to make my life better under the comments after any blog that moves you. If you are looking for the sheer entertainment of the truthful near-deuce (in pants) encounters, then read the "Deuce-aster stories." If you are looking to play the guess what's triggering the irritable bowel syndrome home game, read the "Daily Diet and Deuce Effects" posts which are labeled by date. In these posts, I will describe what I ate and what level of stress or nervousness I was dealing with. But like searching through a big dump after eating a few Chipotle burritos, you will find some kernels of goodness in these posts. This is because my life is a constant adventure. My stomach is like Mount Vesuvius, ready to explode at any moment and bring hell upon any day. Therefore, you just might find another entertaining story about the runs. And you may be Sherlock Holmes and find the way to stop this menace!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

8-3-08

At first, I felt no ill effects from yesterday's evening. A few cramps led to a big dump before the day even started. Then...

Breakfast: two bowls of cheerios
Lunch: Macaroni and cheese
Dinner: Burrito (with sour cream, refried beans, rice, cheese, guacamole, no meat)
After dinner: Dannon Activia

Stress: I was the passenger in a car ride to the airport. I felt nervous about the car-ride for whatever reason. Played classical music to relax the bowels.

Deuce story: The stomach kept flipping in the car, but no deuce emergency. When I got the airport (we were there to pick someone up), I chose to go in and drop my deuce rather than risk a painful, long journey home. In haste, my zipper popped open and broke. I then had to drive back with a guest and my baggage exposed. not cool.

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