How to Enjoy the Deuce Diaries

Like a bad CSI episode, this blog will keep you guessing until the last minute. I will bring to you the past, present, and future of my bathroom emergencies. I encourage you to post your own stories, express your sympathies, or make suggestions to make my life better under the comments after any blog that moves you. If you are looking for the sheer entertainment of the truthful near-deuce (in pants) encounters, then read the "Deuce-aster stories." If you are looking to play the guess what's triggering the irritable bowel syndrome home game, read the "Daily Diet and Deuce Effects" posts which are labeled by date. In these posts, I will describe what I ate and what level of stress or nervousness I was dealing with. But like searching through a big dump after eating a few Chipotle burritos, you will find some kernels of goodness in these posts. This is because my life is a constant adventure. My stomach is like Mount Vesuvius, ready to explode at any moment and bring hell upon any day. Therefore, you just might find another entertaining story about the runs. And you may be Sherlock Holmes and find the way to stop this menace!

Friday, July 18, 2008

7-18-08

It's Friday and there is no stress in the air.
Breakfast (After exercise): One bowl of cheerios with lactose free milk
Lunch: Turkey sandwich with mayo, turkey bacon, lettuce and tomato. Parmesan cheese flavored goldfish crackers and a peanut butter flavored granola bar.
Dinner: Stir-fried vegetables with home-made peanut sauce (lactose free milk, real peanut butter, frank's hot sauce, and garlic: delicious!!)
Dessert: chocolate cake (a layer of chocolate mousse, crushed oreo, dark chocolate and flakes of white cholate) with cookies and cream ice cream.

After dinner snack: Dannon Activia yogurt with fresh raspberries.

Note: This is day 3 of the Dannon Activia experiment.

Exercise: 28 minutes of aerobic activity.

Stress: None to start the day. A little later.
Dietary supplements: same as yesterday

The deuce story: While exercising in the morning, I felt the bowels were carrying an extra load. I had my cereal and a glass of water while waiting for the deuce to roar. With nothing imminent, I went to the bathroom and waited for the moment to come. After a few firm nuggets, I was done for the moment, but left feeling unfulfilled. Then I got nervous about something on my way out and that did the trick in helping me take care of the rest of the bathroom business.

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