Welcome to The Deuce Diaries. My father always told me that I was a perfect asshole. Unfortunately, I do not have one. My life has been cursed with many horrific bathroom moments, but now you will be blessed with entertainment and knowledge. Here I will chronicle my quest for regularity and the tribulations along the way. Reading this blog, you can play the "guess what caused the deuce problems" home game. You may also find yourself laughing out loud about the embarrassment that a little rectal malfunction can cause. And you may even learn something as I detail what I have done to get a little closer to normal.
Enjoy!
Deuces Wild
How to Enjoy the Deuce Diaries
Like a bad CSI episode, this blog will keep you guessing until the last minute. I will bring to you the past, present, and future of my bathroom emergencies. I encourage you to post your own stories, express your sympathies, or make suggestions to make my life better under the comments after any blog that moves you. If you are looking for the sheer entertainment of the truthful near-deuce (in pants) encounters, then read the "Deuce-aster stories." If you are looking to play the guess what's triggering the irritable bowel syndrome home game, read the "Daily Diet and Deuce Effects" posts which are labeled by date. In these posts, I will describe what I ate and what level of stress or nervousness I was dealing with. But like searching through a big dump after eating a few Chipotle burritos, you will find some kernels of goodness in these posts. This is because my life is a constant adventure. My stomach is like Mount Vesuvius, ready to explode at any moment and bring hell upon any day. Therefore, you just might find another entertaining story about the runs. And you may be Sherlock Holmes and find the way to stop this menace!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
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1 comment:
I feel your pain dude. Not literally though, because that would be kinda odd.
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